At O'hare

Soooo I went to the doctor's Sunday. On a Cardifian's advice i called the free nhs helpline who basically told me I'd be an idiot if I boarded a plane and didn't get it checked out first. So I went to the walk-in clinic they gave me via taxi.  I stupidly gave the clinic my real name. I wasn't really thinking straight, but of course they didn't check ID, so I could've got looked at for free. Or if I'd lied about the place I was staying at! Really, what was I thinking?! My old schoolmate Emily tried to tell me over fb chat and I hadn't been paying attention. All I could think about, really, was getting my ears to stop popping. That was the symptom that had started to bother me the most, but more than that, I was simply scared of how bad it would get if I boarded a plane.Anyway, all it did was reinforce my dislike of doctors. It took forever to get looked at and then the doctor was just like, "it's a bad virus. It's going around. I can't help you" even though I told her I'd had symptoms for 2 months and they'd only just became worse. Although I couldn't tell her I'd thrown up so much the night before because there'd been a sign that said not to go in if you'd vomitted within 48 hours. Oh well. At least it looks like i dont have meningitis which was my fear, after the vommiting and headaches and the strange rash.  I suppose I could still have malaria, but I'll wait and see if I remain sick just a little longer.  Anyway the good news is, I made it back to the US!! By the skin of my teeth too! I'm not even sure I can afford the shuttle back to my school, that's how close it was money wise after I bought my shuttle ticket and national express coach to heathrow. So thank god/ess/es it worked out anyway!

At the airport, I had time to kill so I consented to a free makeover/hand massage from a Clinique stand. Hilariously, I think I accidentally picked up the makeover guy. Teaches me to stereotype because I thought he was gay and I just giggled at all his cheesy compliments about my skin thinking he was trying to get a sale out of me. But then he got strangely intense during the hand massage and afterwards he wrote down all his contact information. Even then, I was like I am so incredibly gross right now, he must just be trying to compliment me; maybe its all fake.  But I consented to at least giving him my email since it wasn't like I was going to buy anything and I checked and he sent me an email an hour ago asking how my flight was and asking me to dinner in June (when I said I might come back to visit a vaguely described significant other) 0_o.  How hilarious would it be of hes trying to get American citizenship?!  Because its either that or he has a fetish for my skin. Anyway, I'm at o'hare for the night. I just want to write and write and write to put off my emailing my teachers-I don't know what to say!- but this entry is already boring and long enough already. I think I'll read some fanfic on my iPod and then maybe try and nap for a bit.

Stuck in Sussex

My hotel couldn't get my debit card to charge so they told me to walk a mile (in the rain!) to get to an ATM. They drew me an incredibly crude map of Middle of Nowhere, England. It was more than a mile. I finally found it and they did not take mastercards, but I thought 'that must be impossible' because it didn't say that. It said 'go talk to your bank.' so i went into the store nearby and they said "we dont take cards without chips." and i said, "but american cards dont have chips!" he saod, "we take american card, but they must have chips. Everything is pin and chip here." they said, "get used to england." i said "i have a pin, just not a chip." i said "it works fine in London! Are you saying Middle of Nowhete, England is more technologically advanced then London?!" they threw we me out adter that. so then I tried to go back to the hotel to use Skype to call my bank, but everything looks the same in Middle of Nowhere, Enland *and* it was nighttime *and* it was dark. So I got lost. I wandered in the rain for another hour, then jumped a fence and broke into a high school campus to huddle under a bike rack shed because I couldn't stand the rain anymore. For gods sake i am really sick. At about 11 I decided to call my bank, international charges be damned. They told me nothing was wrong with my card(btw it worked fine at gatwick earlier that very day!)  I asked, "what if the card is broken" and they told me that, basically, if it's one piece and it was working fine earlier, it's probably not broken. I said, "but what if it is" because I needed a back up plan. She repeated the card should be fine and then the phone died. At 11:30 it stopped raining, so I went outside again. I tried to hail a taxi, but none of them would stop. I started retching on the side of the road. Finally saw a stranger and asked him if he knew were Europa was. He said miles away. He said he would pay for a taxi for me if one went by. None did. He said, "I'm not a weirdo. If you come back to my place, I will get my phone and I will call you a cab." I looked at the idark clouds in the sky and decided I'd rather risk murder, then a sad, cold, ever sicker night outside. I went back to his place. At one pint we literally went down a dark alley, and I thought "well this is it." But damn if he didn't give me much needed drug-free water and wait with me and pay for a taxi when it finally showed up. He gave me his number in case i needed help in the morning. I went to the desk, now past midnight, and explained what happened. I said. "it's not my fault." I said " I can call the bank right now if you want me to." They tried the card again, and it declined. Then they said (because before they were trying it in dollars) they said "let's try pounds." it worked, and I started crying. That was my night. How is this my life?! How strange. It doesn't seem real at all. Maybe I died huddled in that bike rack and this is a dream? I left my computer adapter in Budapest, but needed to get this down, so I wrote it on my IPod. Good night ever-weirder world.

Vienna

People are complicated; I sometimes forget how complicated, until I look back my own actions and motivations.

Vienna was beautiful.  Before boarding the bus, I had made plans with a couchsurfer named Klemins, to stay at his place for a night.  He had sent me directions, but they were somewhat vague.  He would name things as landmarks, but didn't say if they were streets, or stores, or exits, and so I quickly became lost.  Thankfully, he did not mind me texting him repeatedly.

But wait, I am getting ahead of myself!  The bus ride was long, but oddly cathartic.  I enjoyed the 20 minutes rest stops, because I often did not know what country I was in.  It reminded me that countries are just man-made constructs.  And for the most part, I was mostly fine.  Though STILL sick (what has it been?? 2 months?! But more on that later), I only had the occasional coughing fit, which adaquetly served to keep the seat next to me free.  I did sleep an awful lot.  It was unfortunate that when I wanted to read, everyone else glared at me- and the girl behind me actually poked me- because the reading light bothered them.  Then I just slept some more.  At the very, very end, with an hour left, someone did sit next to me, and she was fucking crazy, and got into a fight with the girl in the aisle across from her, and in the middle of her rant said in English "fuck you and your mother," which was unexpectedly hilarious.

Then I got to Vienna and found my couchsurfer.  He and all his flatmates were really great.  School was cancelled for all of them, so he took me around Vienna and showed things off to me.  Even let me borrow his camera, so fingers crossed I get those pictures one day.  Then we went to the Queen's summer palace and then walked along the outside of the zoo, gazing at the animals.

At that point his only female flatmate caught up with us (who I had a bit of a crush on) and we went to a coffee shop and had cake and coffee for a while.  Then they told me how to get cheap seats to the opera (you buy standing tickets and then they fill you in the empty seats) so I went and did that.  Unfortunately, the opera I went to (Madame Butterfly!  With English & German translations scrolling across the bar in front of me!) was sold out, so I did have to stand, but it was so beautiful that it was worth it.  Definitely worth my 4 euros.

And then I went back to their place and wasted lots of time trying to buy tickets to Budapest, and finally slept, and slept, and slept in the comfy bed they allotted me.  Woke up very, very late, sent postcards, then went to the train station via subway.  I forgot to say earlier, but the subway was amazingly easy to understand.

The train was much nicer than the bus I had taken previously, but there was nothing particularly unique about it.  The view was nice to watch sometimes.  And for second class, it was quite nice.  I would recommend it, certainly.

AND THEN I GOT OUT.  And that was terrible.  I should say, harkening back to what I wrote at the beginning, that I was having breathing difficulties in Vienna.  Klemins had once had asthma and asked me if I had it, and I said yes.  I didn't want to create a fuss.  I was having so much fun!  And I definitely wanted to sty couchsurfing with them.  And so I acted like the breathing difficulties were normal, and went on my way.  And I suppressed most of my coughs, before finding excuses to walk away and cough where they couldn't hear.  I had other problems too, the inside of my thighs are terribly scraped up (long, stupid, surprisingly-not-sexual-story-despite-the-circumstances story) and other, even weirder/more embarrassing things going on.  But I ignored them, and suppressed them, and was fine.

And then I got off the tray at Budapest and had a particularly violent coughing fit, and couldn't breathe, and then freaked out at the hungry look some beggars gave me when I nearly collapsed.  It was getting dark.  <i>I had no plans!</i>  I had thought I would get off the train, and find a coffee shop with wi-fi, and figure my shit out.  I did not see anything that looked like it might have wi-fi.  And so I just kept shuffling forward with my bags, acting like everything was normal, while everything hurt.  Eventually I found a western hotel and enquired about the prices, and just stayed here and calmed myself down and rested.

And then today I woke up, and my cold & flu symptoms that I thought I was finally rid of, were back. I couldn't really sleep long last night, because my coughing fits kept waking me up.  But even so, I was surprised to wake up with a sore throat, and a runny nose, and eyes glued shut.  I really must go to the health center when I get back.

And so here I am!  I bought a 48 hour "Budapest card" and I will go to a museum later.  But I'm going to rest a bit more still.  I woke up early for the hotel's lovely breakfast buffet.  And I may meet up with couchsurfers later, fingers crossed.

On The Train From Vienna to Budapest

On the way to the airport

I literally saw a billboard with the classic evolution lineage image and a giant x through it.  It made me feel guilty, because I was filled with joy at, once again, leaving Louisiana.

Book Post!

I feel like the posts in this blog can be categorized into 3 different themes: things seen & done while traveling, my thoughts on gender & sexuality theory, & my desire to return to the middle east. The last two probably look like contradictions to most people, but human beings are complicated creatures, aren't they? In an effort to have less polarizing pieces of my personality put on display, however, I thought I would make a more traditional blogpost.

So! The books I'm reading:

I was looking through the science section of my local used book store, and this struck my fancy, so I bought it. However, it was clearly written before Sacks' brilliant The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat. I read that book in the 8th grade, and while I remember struggling with certain words and scientific concepts, I remember it as ultimately being a very engrossing reading. The subject matter in this is also extremely fascinating, but also very hard to sometimes understand, especially with footnotes that sometimes last a whole page several times in the middle of each chapter.

It only took me 7 months and several stops & starts, but I finally made it to Book 5 of George R.R. Martin's A Song Of Fire & Ice series. And even now, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the series. While reading A Game of Thrones, everyone around me was struck by how much I was continually complaining about how the characters' actions were all fairly predictable and stupid. I also felt like Ned Stark was just too one-dimensional. But as the series has evolved, so too have the characters. I find I cannot stop wanting to know how things turn out for them. It's a little hard to judge this book on its own, since it's essentially A Clash Of Kings: Part 2 (as the two books are concurrent), but now, every time I pick the book up, I'm struck by how absorbing it is.  Either I have the book version of Stockholm syndrome, or these books are getting better and better. In addition, I'm learning a lot of archaic Scottish and Old English words thanks to Martin's vocabulary and my kindle's dictionary; it will be amusing to see if any of these ever end up into my conversations, because I already find myself accidentally sounding like I'm from a different century (I really need to up my reading to talking ratio).