Twitter

I had a really amazing experience a few minutes ago. I don't check twitter very often. Sometimes I post a few things from my travels, but it's not really my cup of tea. Well. When I did a search for the hashtag #nairobi I found out a Dutch tourist desperately needed O negative blood at a hospital nearby. So I immediately responded (because I have 0 negative blood) and it turned out they weren't in need of it anymore, but still. How amazing is that?! They got enough blood just by posting on twitter. I shall have to donate blood while I am here, as I've looked it up, and they are in need of it. Granted it won't stay for very long if they don't end up using it, but still. It would be nice to feel useful here. We live in an amazing age. Imagine if that woman had been in need of O negative blood only 5 years ago? I will never again look down on people who use twitter too much; it's clearly a very useful, life-changing tool. If anyone wants to find me on it, I'm here: DisgruntledElf

Day 5 in Nairobi (Christmas Eve)

It's christmas eve and we've done nothing, but I'm more ok with that now that we've finally done something. We were supposed to go to Nyeri today and visit Jay's grandmother and other family members there, but Jay's mom had some errands to run and returned too late.

Jay apparently has never heard of Alanis Morisette which blows my mind and makes me feel very, very old. We went to the nearby mall again (named YaYa) and I, again, had to stop myself from buying some paintings. They're of really ornate doors or windows and you can open them and inside there's all types of people walking around Nairobi. I adore them, but they're like $300 each and as much as I joke about wasting all my monies, I really can't afford to buy another $300 painting. The one is enough. Plus how terrible would I be for buying something for $300 for aesthetic purpose in a country where people are starving?! $300 is probably more than some people here will see in a lifetime. I have to remember that. So when we got back I made a bunch more kiva loans. But is that enough? With all my parent's money problems (so far they've taken $3000 from me, and it looks like they'll be getting more), I'm reluctant to just outright donate my money anywhere. The glory of kiva loans is that I can input an endless amount of money towards people who need it more than me, but 90% of the time I'll get it back. But they do have terrible interest rates. I should've donated more money when I had the chance.

Afterwards we went and got dinner with some friends of their family. It was nice. I ate lots and lots of chapati with curry sauce, because for some reason curry here has bones in it.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Day 4!

So today was hilarious. We drove up to "Nairobi National Park" and Jay turns to me and says "don't get excited. We're just making a u-turn." And I'm like "I figure." and she bursts out cackling. But then we continue driving around for a while and even spaced out I eventually realize no u-turn could take this long. Then Jay's mom gets out to talk to the people at the gate and I'm like "holy crap. We're actually going on a safari?!" and Jay's like "...of course!" so I get excited.

But then it turns out Jay's mom didn't bring anyone's ID's and in order to get into the park everyone needs them :/

So we finally go to the hills instead. It's nice enough. There's trees everywhere and Jay's mom says it's where "Out of Africa" was set, not that that means anything particular to me. She goes on about how the author of the book lived nearby and died of syphilis, so me and Jay pretend to be major fans of hers and start speculating on who we can sleep with passing by who might be carrying the same strain of it that killed her. We then stop at a camp site and have a picnic. For once the kids aren't too annoying and even though I don't eat the food (I counted 15 flies buzzing around food displayed. 15!!!!) I'm not really hungry and it's really peaceful and nice. Then some Maasai come over selling some wares and I buy a pretty crown and a headdress. All in all, it's a really lovely day. Easily my best here. I'm happy.

Women Drinking Water Badly: Apparently an international concept!

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, check this out. It's pretty sad, but maybe if we ban together, we can eradicate this affliction in my lifetime!

-Edit- Although in retrospect, this is particularly disgusting in a country where many people can't get access to clean drinking water. Put in that light, this goes from funny/mildy disturbing to downright obscene.

Day 3 in Nairobi

So today I went shopping with Jay's aunt. She's really lovely, but also a tad bit vain. I kept trying to buy dresses with cool designs and use of color, but she kept putting me in clothes for clubbing. I do adore her though; she's very friendly to me, and she really doesn't have to be. I realize I must look frustrated and bored this trip, because she keeps asking me if I'm ok and trying to cheer me up. And then I feel horrible for not having more fun. I just wish I could be more independent here. Maybe I could buy a burkha somewhere?? Then I wouldn't stand out nearly so much. Still it was fun wandering around Nairobi. I'm starting to accept that maybe this trip won't go as I'd hoped. I'll just have to come back someday with other people. Jay's too frightened to wander anywhere with me; I tried that and we got as far as the parking lot before she chickened out. Her brother's really sick now from eating a meat pie." He didn't eve know what meat it was! I realize food is an important part of culture, but nothing short of a kingdom is worth being as sick as he is now.

Day 2

I'm starting to get frustrated, which I realize is unfair. We started driving to the hills, but then Jay's mother decided she'd prefer to drive to a Maasai village instead to watch them dance. But when we got there, we discovered the dancing wasn't for a few more hours and so we drove all the way back in order to pick someone up from the airport. The drive was nice, and I liked watching outside, but I still felt bitterly disappointed. At least we walked around Nairobi some more. I feel ancy, worried about all the money I spent on this trip, and the lack of time we have here. But I realize that's unfair too. I realize they aren't here for me, and I'm grateful I have a place to stay and people to travel with. I just wish it was possible for me to travel by myself. Jay's mother won't let me, telling me that if I'm lost or hurt, the American embassy will destroy them. I'm not sure how much of that is just dramatics and how much is the truth. She and her children have American citizenship, so I hope they wouldn't be blamed, but what about her sisters and their children? I don't think the American embassy is that evil or that covetous of its citizens abroad, but I don't know. And just how dangerous is it here? I feel like I can protect myself, but realize that feeling is not really enough.

In any case, while waiting for them to finish more passport errands in Nairobi, I had a scary experience. As soon as they went into the building, I started locking all the doors and attempting to roll up the windows, but then a man walked up, opened the door, and got in. He told me he was a valet driver, and that our parking space had to be moved, but I wasn't sure if I could trust him, so I fretted in the back with a comb clutched in my hand, as if that could defend me if he decided to drive off. Then I made him call Jay's family, and sure enough, he had been telling the truth, thank god. So (against everyone's wishes) I decided to walk to a nearby Orange store and buy a goddamn phone for instances such as that, because what if he'd reused to let me use his phone? How would I have proven he wasn't stealing our car? So I bought the cheapest phone they had. I felt ridiculously competent for such a small task, but there had been multiple people I had to talk to and wait on line with, and it felt like a victory when I walked out with an activated phone with plenty of minutes on it. I'm glad I got to do something by myself, at least.

Day 1 in Nairobi

I arrived last night. First I flew into Miami, then London Heathrow and finally, Nairobi; a trip that took close to a full 24 hours. My flight to London was magically upgraded by the seat number I chose, and I ended up in British Airways' "World Traveller Plus" class. I got early boarding, more seat room, a nicer pillow, awesome headphones (that they unfortunately made sure to take away) and free drinks, which I promptly took advantage of. It wasn't first class, but it was still damn nice as I would find out soon enough. The flight to Nairobi was economy class and I stared longingly at the seat room the "World Traveller's" got, believe you me. Then the airport. It took quite a while longer to get my visa then the comments on tripadvisor would have had me believe. Then (of course!) I discovered my bag hadn't made it (bastards!). I filed a claim and then walked out where Jay's mom was waving her hands around, surrounded by Jay's family.

Today Jay and her brother had to go do stuff to get their passports renewed. I'm glad I went along. When Jay's mom came upstairs she said we'd go to the hills later after the errands were done, but they took too long so we ended up just walking around Nairobi. It's super crowded and beautiful and really dirty. I was worried I'd think a city populated almost entirely by people who look nothing like me would seem bizaare and alien to me, but I'm happy to comment that wasn't the case. I did get quite a few looks though. Jay told me yesterday her mom followed me to the airport's bathrooms, because the men behind her had questioned her on "where she got [me]" and "could she leave me with [them]?" It made me sad, because I wanted to wander around by myself. Even in Cairo, I would sneak short trips by myself, telling my teachers that the students I was travelling with were running behind and would be by shortly. But I didn't stick out quite as much there, with my skin darkened by Jordan's sun, I could pass for a light-skinned Arab. Now I am back to my super pale, pasty complection and I am surrounded by much darker people. I used to daydream about cutting my hair off and passing as a man should things get too frustrating in Jordan, too for your own good sexist. Here I daydream about buying a burka to walk around freely. How contrary! But there are plenty of Muslim woman walking around in Nairobi in all types of outfits. Strangely, I rarely see them accompanied by men (I wonder why that is?) and rarely see the men (in long white robes and small caps) accompanied by women.

We stopped at a restaurant for lunch. The prices were similar to Jordan's (a meal with a drink cost around $5). I ordered chicken curry, but it was on the bone, and I felt ridiculous, but couldn't bring myself to eat it. So I ate "chips" and rice instead.

Now I'm back at the apartment Jay's family rented. In addition to her mom and brother (who both live in America), there are 3 aunts here and 4 children (two boys, two girls). I'm in love with the youngest, Dylan, who is only 1 year old. I'm sharing a queen-sized bed upstairs with Jay.

Good night Nairobi, Good night world!

Pre-Kenya

So it's mid-finals week and I find myself at my local "Passport health" clinic. It's behind some construction and looks a little shady, but inside it's nice. I spend a ridiculous amount of money on vaccinations (4!). It's weird, because before going to Jordan it never even occurred to me to get any vaccinations for Egypt, even though I knew I'd be spending spring break there. In retrospect that was a little stupid. Maybe more than a little? I did get sick literally the second I was back in Jordan (all over my host family's carpet ugh), but I managed pretty well there. For Kenya I go over the top and get EVERYTHING. I still have my sense of reckless abandon, but I keep thinking "I don't wanna die before I fall in love. I don't wanna die before I fall in love." A preposterous notion, considering that lacking in my human experience is likely more my fault than anyone else's, but the sentiment scares me in its ferocity. I also buy anti-malaria tablets. The kindly receptionist informs me I can get the $25 brand with quite a few scary side effects or the $175 brand with next to none. Eventually I decide on the $25 brand; I'm feeling more lucky/crazed after all those shots.

Later, it occurs to me what a modern miracle this whole experience is. I will not be getting yellow fever. I will not be getting typhoid fever, or meningitis, or malaria. I am blessed by my birth's timing and by the privilege of my lower-middle class, American upbringing.

For Halloween, I was a slutty ood

Holmes/Watson vs. Sherlock/John, Part I

Some things I've noticed so far in my (admittedly few) readings of Holmes/Watson stories versus the (admittedly way too many) Sherlock/John stories I've read:

1) Holmes is always a closeted gay man

Or at least this is true in all the stories I've read so far. If anyone has any links to stories that go against this rule, by all means send them my way!

2) Sherlock (BBC) is always either asexual or demisexual

Now I have read stories that go against this rule, but they have been far outswamped by stories that follow it. And while 'Sherlock-is-demisexual' is not often explicit, I am planning on writing a future blog post on why I think it's much more common than people realize- a lot of stories describe demisexuality without ever calling it that. Probably because most people don't know what it is.

a. In stories where Sherlock BBC is asexual, him and John always have an understanding. Sometimes this means John gives up sex altogether for a life with his soulmate Sherlock. Sometimes this means John is given a free pass to occasionally sleep with others (almost always women!), but always comes home to Sherlock at the end of the day. Sometimes this means Sherlock participates in sex acts with John that require no reciprocation. But all of these stories have one common thread: the explicit idea that John and Sherlock plan to grow old together.

a. In stories where Sherlock BBC is asexual, John is not always attracted to men. In Sherlock/John stories where Sherlock is asexual and John is attracted to men, Sherlock almost always participates in sex acts with John, explaining that he likes giving John pleasure even if he doesn't like receiving pleasure in the same way.

In stories where Sherlock BBC is asexual and John is not attracted to men, John is usually given a free pass to sleep with women (that pass is usually assumed or outright stated will go unused once they retire). Bizarrely, Sherlock/John stories where Sherlock is asexual and John is straight, are more likely to end in marriage between our heroes than stories from the first scenerio. My guess is that this is because the authors of these types of stories want to make the Sherlock/John relationship explicitly romantic and/or emphasize its exclusivity (as opposed to the canon relationship of BFF-ness that's already supposed to exist between them where they could each, hypothetically, have other friendships that become just as close). Since our heroes aren't having sex in this scenerio, marriage is used as a way of making their eventual plan to grow old together explicit without forcing Sherlock to say so, since Sherlock often has problems expressing emotions both in canon and fanon.

3. John (BBC) is always bisexual******. With the exception of asexual!Sherlock story scenerios mentioned above, John is almost always bisexual. This is worth noting since in other fandom slash pairing where one or both of the characters are either explicitly or implicitly identified as straight in canon, this is often not the case. Instead, in such a scenerio one or both of the characters is considered completely straight with the exception of attraction to his one true slash mate. Confused? In high school, I used to read Ryan/Seth fics from The O.C. What can I say? I was a nerd. Anyway, oftentimes Seth was gay or bisexual, and Ryan wasn't. Or sometimes, they were both straight, or even Ryan was queer and Seth wasn't. But there as rarely a scenerio where they were both outright queer, at least when I was involved in that fandom. Instead character A (let's say Ryan) would be straight, but would still find himself falling in love with character B (Seth) and finding himself curious and interested in exploring what sex with character B would be like, even though character B is the only man character A can ever found himself considering having sex with EVER. The implicit understanding in such a scenerio, is that romantic love always leads to sexual attraction. Whether or not this is actually true in real life is up for debate.

So it is worth noting that in Sherlock fandom John is almost always written as bisexual, or at the very least, curious about sex with men. Even in stories where John has never before even fantasized about sex with a man, there's usually something written about him at least considering the possibilities of such acts during his time in the army, and then dismissing them as not for him. And even in the rare story where John finds himself wanting to have sex with Sherlock while never having previously even considered the possibility of sex with a man, even then, after having sex with Sherlock John is usually open and willing to from then on consider himself "not straight" (even if it's only in his head).

4. Watson's sexuality is much more open to interpretation. It's the Victorian era so there's a built in excuse for why gay!Watson would feel the need to have dalliances (and eventually a marriage) with women: It's literally against the law for him to be gay. There is no such excuse in place for John in the modern day BBC world. If caught- or even suspected- Watson could be hanged. So some writers write him as a closeted gay man who is shocked to discover his roommate shares his predilection for penis. Other times Watson is bisexual, or open-minded. It's often remarked that either his job as a doctor, his time in the army, or both have exposed him to homosexuality in the past and that he views it, more or less, as natural. Sometimes he thinks sodomy is a perversion, but Holmes teaches him the wonders of cock.


***** The "John is always bisexual" trope isn't true anymore!!!  Sometime in the last 6 months or so, I've found an influx of "OMG SEXUALITY CRISIS John" stories!  I attribute a lot of this from my switch of relying on the sherlockbbc livejournal for my fanfic to A03 instead, but I also wonder if season 2 somehow influenced this.  Anyone have any comments?

Thoughts on Doctor Who Ep. "The Girl Who Waited"

Ok I thought I'd start off by saying I fucking love any stories that have to do with time travel or the impact of memories. "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" is my favorite movie for a reason, and although this episode had more to do with time travel than memories, the memories will still come into play.

Because regardless of whether Older!Amy ever really existed at all, she still exists in the memories of Rory and Amy. And Older!Amy couldn't stand changing time, because she was scared of being erased. And what defined her existence? Her memories.

I like how dark the doctor is in this, but it seemed oddly placed. Just last week we were led to believe that the doctor's killer is considered even more terrible than Hitler by a future organization that believes they have the right to pass judgements like God (literally...in that they can determine who goes to hell and who doesn't). Then this week we're reminded how fucking crazy and morally grey the doctor really is. I think the doctor risked a lot more than we see on the screen by trying to save Amy. I believe that we're just supposed to assume that, due to past episodes we've seen where the doctor tried to change time streams. And I think the doctor's moral grayness is a great compliment to River's. He isn't willing to shield Rory or Amy from his madness, and neither is River (at least in the point of time we currently know her). In a way both the doctor and River are abusive towards Rory and Amy, dolling out madness and guilt, and just assuming they'll be loved anyway.

For a while now I've suspected that Amy and Rory are much closer to the doctor than any of his former companions (even Rose). I admit this is partially because River described Amy and Rory as his "best friends." But now I realize Amy is so wrapped up in the doctor's present that he can't possibly admit defeat. She's the little girl. She's his best friend. *And* she's the mother of his future (present?) love. And Rory is the boy who was ok waiting 2000 years to protect the girl he loved.

Which reminds me, why didn't Rory bring that up when Amy accused him of abandoning her for 37 years? That was different and it wasn't and I would've liked to have seen that argument. And I also would've liked to have seen someone mention Melody.

I thought it was a little gross how everyone just assumed Older!Amy would be glad to have not existed. It also would've been more interesting to me if Older!Amy hadn't chosen to lay down her life for young!Amy and Rory's future. It makes you wonder what changed this time around that was different from when Older!Amy was in younger!Amy's shoes. Still. All around this episode was extremely touching. I loved Robot!Rory. I loved Rory's quiet acceptance that Robot!Rory was her pet. I fucking adored the concept of the facility as a place where one day can be stretched into a lifetime (although why were all the people separated??? If I had a day to live a lifetime, I'd want there to be other people to be there too. To explore with. To fall in love with. To grow old with). And I loved when Rory says he doesn't want to travel with the doctor anymore, and then accuses him of turning Rory into himself. I'd like to see this episode having some ramifications for their future adventures together.

All around I'd give it 4 stars out of 5.

On The Way Back From Ice Caving

Bilbo finds the car has a very... *interesting* license plate

Ice Caving, Part 2

Loook at me go!

The "Ice" in Iceland

While in Akureyri I decided to go ice caving. *Total* Bridget Jones moment on my part, but worth it. At one point I literally had people pushing my bum through a tiny cave opening to leave, while I struggled not to lose my pants (since I'd only planned for one day there and impulsively left 90% of my stuff with the hotel I last stayed at in Reykjavik, I only had one pair of pants with me. Unfortunately they were jeans. Not exactly ideal for sliding on ice, let me tell you). But I'm glad I went because it was fucking beautiful.

Bilbo agrees of course.

In Akureyri!

Have been forced out of Reykjavik by the sheer number conferances going on taking up all the openings in hostels and hotels. Considered sleeping at the bus stop, but thought it might be nice to see northern Iceland.

On the way Bilbo found some old friends! Can you spot him? He's being rascally and taunting them. Hasn't he learned his lesson yet?!

LOL clearly I am going mad here. It's common on less densely populated island nations, isn't it? Thank god for the couchsurfers here, or I'd go raving. Apparently Akureyri's culture night is coming up too so I'm going to go see it with some CS people. I really like it here. It reminds me of Wales a lot.

Bilbo climbs volcanic rock!

Look at this mofo!

Eating Willy

Not like that!!! I meant like the whale. Get your mind out of the gutter .

Anyway, it didn't taste very fishy. There was kinda a fishy aftertaste, but I ate vegetables in the same sauce and they had the same aftertaste, so Idk if it was the whale itself that tasted like fish or just the sauce. In any case I found it kinda hard to down. It was pretty chewy. And then afterwards I ate "Icelandic pancakes" for desert which are basically like little rolled up crepes.

Reykjavik's Culture Night

So tonight was Culture Night in Reykjavik. There were SO MANY people it felt like suffucation just walking around. The fireworks and music were lovely though.

I met up with a couple couchsurfers (one from Belgium, one from Australia) for food and then we thought to get drinks, but it was much too crowded, so instead I came back to Hotel Floki's dorms.
I am getting old, as one of the couchsurfers said.

I asked facebook who wanted postcards this time and many replied and it made think when I'm dead I'll send postcards from hell. Wouldn't that be a feat??

Goodnight Iceland.

Egg Burger! Common Here, Delicious Anywhere

Shhhh don't tell him it's not Mt. Doom!

A traditional Icelandic stew

Hiking on Glaciers

So I gave in and bought a guided tour to Vatnajökull National Park's glaciers. Here's the link. It was great, although I found myself hoping we'd go even higher. We put crampons on our shoes and it was much like regular hiking, only you had to make sure to push down when you stepped or else you might start sliding (that happened to me once). The naturally made caves were the most gorgeous things I've seen in Iceland so far.

The group I was with was very strange demographically. There were tough looking men who looked between the ages of 25-30, a few middle aged women, and one young couple I found it hard to age. There were no other Americans. There was a Damish guy, an Australian guy, two Spaniards, three Chinese women, plus a few people whom I didn't overhear talking to our guide, and so was unable to identify. I suspect I was the youngest person in our group, and certainly the youngest women (which only matters because the guide seemed particularly hmmmm I guess the word might be, worried for me- I'll find a better word later). I suppose the guide was right to worry, since I was the only one who ended up falling, though I was very quickly back on my feet and determined to show I was fine. If it wasn't for how slow I was walking back down (it's much harder to walk downhill on a glacier, much too easy to not press down hard enough when walking and start slipping), I'd consider a tougher climb. But that would be a *lot* of money and I'd rather come back and do that with a friend sometime, so as not to make everyone resentful towards me when I inevitably fall behind when we start walking down.

Afterwards we went on a duck boat (!) to Jökulsárlón Glacier Lagoon and then *that* became the most beautiful thing I've seen her.

Bilbo Rests After a Tiring Journey Around "The Golden Circle" in Iceland

Asexuality and Being "Sex-Positive"

Before going on to write more about Iceland I thought I'd rant a little. A friend of mine wrote a note on facebook writing about how ridiculous it is to pretend everyone doesn't want sex, and how stupid it is to judge people for what they want in bed. etc... Which is all great and fine, but he also wrote that asexuality doesn't exist, and if you think you're asexual you have a mental illness and should go see a therapist. That bothered me and I commented saying, "I don't think it's very sex positive to say that people who don't want sex are mentally ill. If they have a problem with their lack of sex drive, then that's one thing. Being sex positive is not about saying it's normal and fine to want sex under your own terms, but only if those terms are acceptable by everyone else. Even with the really basic classes in neuroscience I've taken I can tell you that there are a variety of hormone interactions that determine sex drive, and can indeed, cause someone to not have a very high one/not have one at all. In my opinion saying people are mentally ill for being ok with that is just as bad as saying people are mentally ill for being ok wanting a particular kind of sex."

And then it turned into a huge mess and I realize I did overreact defriending him but that's not what I'm writing about. A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to be an extra in metahuman's music video for "So Pomo" a sex-positive song (even if a bit ridiculous) that embraces a view of sexual identity and gender without clear cut labels. It was shot at the queer center at Pamona College in Claremont, CA and one interesting thing I noticed is that on their list of identities the club embraced, it mentioned asexuality.

Now I know there are several definitions of asexuality going around the internet. One is simply not being sexually attracted to anyone. Others might say it's about not having a sex drive at all. Some might say they're "aromantic," others might say they love romance, but not sex. It is not my place to define what it is or isn't, though I am starting to suspect I may be demisexual, since I have no real desire to have sex with anyone I'm not emotionally attached to (I've tried and it always fails, believe me). What I'm interested in is how others view asexuality. Do you see it as a sexual preference? A sexual identity? Or a mental illness in need of treatment?

Hello Iceland

I have had a less than auspicious start, but that's ok. I'll be here for another two weeks. In any case, the fact remains that Delta managed to lose my suitcase, and so I will (eventually) be somewhere between $50-100 richer for it. Plus in the meantime I have an adorable bag filled with toiletries and a giant t-shirt to make up for it (I am too easily placated). My only major complaint is how long it took them. We arrived at 9 and I left the airport at 11. Then I took a taxi because the next shuttle wasn't until 12 and I was fed up. Turns out I Sid not have enough money, but the taxi driver found me amusing so he drove me anyway. I got to the hostel and my bed had been given away (and also, I had thought it was a hotel not a hostel, but oh well). So that took a long while to figure out. But I got free coffee so I guess it's ok.

Then I passed out for a while. Then I walked by the water and got lost.

...and now I'm exhausted. I kept starting and stopping this but I fear I shall have to go to sleep before my bunk mate here starts snoring again.

In any case, I like it here. I do. Everyone's kind and everything's beautiful and I've yet to meet another American here! I just hope tomorrow goes a little bit better

Bilbo Fails

Bilbo Pounces!

It appears the chickens are getting closer...Bilbo gets out his sword!

Update on the Chicken Situation: Bilbo in Hiding

Bilbo investigates a chicken coop...

At my friend Sabrina's house outside Seattle

Roadtrip Ihop Bilbo

In Seattle