Asexuality and Being "Sex-Positive"

Before going on to write more about Iceland I thought I'd rant a little. A friend of mine wrote a note on facebook writing about how ridiculous it is to pretend everyone doesn't want sex, and how stupid it is to judge people for what they want in bed. etc... Which is all great and fine, but he also wrote that asexuality doesn't exist, and if you think you're asexual you have a mental illness and should go see a therapist. That bothered me and I commented saying, "I don't think it's very sex positive to say that people who don't want sex are mentally ill. If they have a problem with their lack of sex drive, then that's one thing. Being sex positive is not about saying it's normal and fine to want sex under your own terms, but only if those terms are acceptable by everyone else. Even with the really basic classes in neuroscience I've taken I can tell you that there are a variety of hormone interactions that determine sex drive, and can indeed, cause someone to not have a very high one/not have one at all. In my opinion saying people are mentally ill for being ok with that is just as bad as saying people are mentally ill for being ok wanting a particular kind of sex."

And then it turned into a huge mess and I realize I did overreact defriending him but that's not what I'm writing about. A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to be an extra in metahuman's music video for "So Pomo" a sex-positive song (even if a bit ridiculous) that embraces a view of sexual identity and gender without clear cut labels. It was shot at the queer center at Pamona College in Claremont, CA and one interesting thing I noticed is that on their list of identities the club embraced, it mentioned asexuality.

Now I know there are several definitions of asexuality going around the internet. One is simply not being sexually attracted to anyone. Others might say it's about not having a sex drive at all. Some might say they're "aromantic," others might say they love romance, but not sex. It is not my place to define what it is or isn't, though I am starting to suspect I may be demisexual, since I have no real desire to have sex with anyone I'm not emotionally attached to (I've tried and it always fails, believe me). What I'm interested in is how others view asexuality. Do you see it as a sexual preference? A sexual identity? Or a mental illness in need of treatment?